6 Month Checkup!

It’s been 22 Weeks, or just over 5 months from surgery date. Life is fantastic. I have went from a size 16 to a 6!! Shirts went from 1x or 2x to Juniors Medium. My bust has went from a 40DD to a 38C. I actually enjoy shopping now because I can pick out such cute clothes that I never could think about buying before. I feel more confident, feel like I have my “spark” back for lack of a better word. I just feel like ME again. Not the ME that was trapped in a body that wasn’t mine. I do have some issues with how the skin on my stomach looks now that I’ve lost all the weight, still have the stretch mark scarred saggy skin left… but honestly, I’m dressed for 99% of each day, and that covers it. I’m not even going to entertain the idea of a tummy tuck until I’m certain that we are done having children. No sense in getting something fixed that may end up just getting stretched out again! I’m still drinking protein shakes 1-2 times a day, but one is always my breakfast, and the second is always my daily snack for the day. I’m so used to this way of eating and drinking now that it’s life as I know it. I’m fine with it, and I don’t feel cheated or struggle. (well except for those rare occasion’s when I really want a blizzard or something… but I can usually fight that off by justifying that its ridiculous to even pay for a small blizzard when I’ll feel like crap after 4 or 5 bites.) I honestly feel best when I’ve eaten fresh quality meat and vegetables as opposed to any kind of junk or carbs. They just make me feel so heavy and nauseaus now which I’m kind of grateful for. I did start having some hair loss, so I went yesterday and got my bob haircut changed into a more flattering pixie cut. At least with my hair this short, I won’t have to keep brushing it or moving it out of my face all day. Hopefully it will help, even if not, it feels great to have my hair off my neck in this Florida summer! I weighed in this morning at 135.6. I started at 201.5. That brings my total weight loss so far to 65.9 pounds!! I’m ecstatic with that number, and am very very close to being back to my high school weight! I’ve slacked off with the gym, and can now see what areas I need to target to tone up. My arms have some flab, my stomach needs some crunches, my legs could use some definition, but overall, I’m pretty damn happy with the way my body has changed. I could never have achieved this without my sleeve, and I am grateful every day that I was blessed with the means to be able to do it, and I wish I could hug my surgeon and his staff every single day! In some ways, I’m the same Courtney as I was pre-op, but in so many other ways, I’m such a different Courtney now. The one that gets her nails done, and looks put together in clothes as opposed to sloppy and ashamed. I am no longer afraid of running into old friends from school anymore, I look forward to going out with friends, and I am LOVING the beach! That was all just stuff I wanted to be able to enjoy again, and now I’m here! I don’t know what else to say except I am very very happy right now with the way things have turned out for me, and how this surgery has changed my life. I feel incredibly blessed and fortunate and grateful. Life is feeling great!!!

Down 62.3 lbs!

Posted on May 31, 2011 by TheAllNewMe

I don’t even know how many weeks it’s been now! It’s such a part of life now, that I lose count. But, it’s been a long time since I’ve updated, so here’s my current stats:

Beginning Weight : 201.5

Current Weight: 139.2

Total Weight Loss: 62.3 lbs!!

150lbs

Posted on April 22, 2011 by TheAllNewMe

This morning I weighed 150 even! I started at 201.5, so I’ve now lost 51.5! Fifty was a huge milestone for me! I don’t have any new pics to post of this week, but I figure I’ll have some from Easter on Sunday to post. Anyway, just wanted to share the great news! Here’s my new stats:

1. I’m over halfway to my goal weight

2. I bought three pairs of pants that are size 10’s. Still a little tight, but they fit!

3. I’ve now lost over 50 pounds

4. My shirt size has gone from 1X to Large.

5. I can wear heels comfortably now because there isn’t 200 pounds of weight bearing down on my toes!

6. I am wearing a bikini to the beach now instead of a one piece.

7. And I’ve learned that 50 pounds gone forever can make your body feel phenomenal!! I’d say it’s time to celebrate this victory!!

13 Weeks

Posted on April 10, 2011 by TheAllNewMe

As of this morning, I’ve lost 48.9 pounds! Here’s some pics from this week

Dressed up for going out:

🙂

WHOO HOO! HALFWAY THERE!

Posted on April 2, 2011 by TheAllNewMe

Halfway to Goal Now! This morning I weighed 155 lbs. That means I’ve lost 46.5 lbs so far, and I have 45 more to go to reach my goal weight. I’m three months out from surgery and already halfway to goal. How freakin fantastic is that?!?! I am ecstatic by this news! It’s hard for me to believe that 3 months ago, I was 2o1 lbs. I honestly can’t wrap my mind around the loss. It’s amazing, and I am thankful every day that I have my sleeve!!

Bikini Ready!!

Posted on April 1, 2011 by TheAllNewMe

Well, maybe not, but dammit I live in Florida, and at this time of year, it’s hard to resist that calling even if your body isn’t quite where you want it to be yet lol. I ventured out today, bought a new bikini, and hit the beach. Apparently everyone else had the same idea because I had to go to 3 beaches before I could even find a parking space! I’m not posting these pics on my Facebook, but I’m going to share the bikini pics here. They’re somewhat flattering from the angle they were taken at, but trust me, my tummy is far from ready….but still, it was a great relaxing time, and despite my best attempts to slather on the sunblock, I’ve got bright pink thighs to show for my trip! 🙂

11 Weeks

Posted on March 28, 2011 by TheAllNewMe

WARNING: I’m in a weird mood, so this could get personal and long-winded…

Before surgery, at 200 lbs, I would look in the mirror expecting to see a familiar image, and I was always surprised when my reflection was so vastly different from what I expected to see. I always had a different idea of what I looked like, and no matter how many times I would look in the mirror, I never could get to the point of accepting that that was really my reflection; that that was really what I had come to look like. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t what I felt should be my reflection. It was someone else that had let their weight get so far out of control. Someone else that took pains to have perfect makeup everyday because it made them feel like they were still the cute spunky 120lb girl that she was in high school. It was a terrible, sobering feeling every day. For me, it wasn’t just vanity. It was about self worth and self accomplishment. I had let events in my life take over my entire being, and I started eating for a number of reasons. Comfort, shame, disappointment, insecurity, depression, and anxiety. The worse I felt, the more I ate. I numbed myself out with comfort food. It was my escape from a bad day, and around the time I started gaining, that was pretty much every day. It was a destructive cycle. The more I ate, the worse I felt, the worse I felt, the more I ate. It wasn’t a big deal when it was going from 120 to 130. We even joked about it then, about how much more comfy it was to sleep when you had some cushion. We had no idea that I would keep on this destructive path 5 pounds at a time, until my weight went from 120, all the way up to 226 at my highest. Now, to be fair, 226 was when I was at my most pregnant, but even after he was born, I went to 218, and stayed there for months. At 218 I had the very worse self esteem one can imagine. My self-consciousness controlled every aspect of my life. No going to the beach unless it was secluded. No going to the pool – EVER because oh my god, what if I ran into someone I knew? No going out to eat anywhere where I might see someone. No going to bars, clubs, parties, events…. nothing. Working, and being a hermit at home. That was the extent of my ambitiousness. I was just too hung up in what I looked like, and so ashamed of what I had let myself become. I can’t describe that kind of miserable. There just aren’t words for that.

I had always thought about weight loss surgery, but always put it out of my mind for a few reasons. One, I never thought I’d actually qualify. Two, I never thought I could afford it. Three, I’d never been successful at any attempts to lose weight long term, so why would this be any different. Four, how could I ever put my family through such a big adjustment. Five, things like that just don’t happen for people like me.

I started asking questions a few years ago, and kept myself up to date on new advances in weight loss surgery, and kept trying all kinds of fads in between. All of a sudden, one day, I hear that the hospital has a special deal for hospital employees. Sign a contract agreeing to stay for a few years, and they write off a chunk of the cost. It was interesting, but I still couldn’t fathom how I’d ever be able to come up with the funds, and I still wasn’t sure if I’d qualify. Then I started seeing people around the hospital undergo dramatic weigh loss changes. It was amazing to see the personality changes that these people were showing. Confidence and happiness. They were dressing more flattering to their shape instead of hiding it, and just seemed full of zest and life. I wanted for that to be me so very much. So, I got serious about it. I scheduled an appointment with the bariatric coordinator, and found that I actually did qualify. My BMI was high enough, but my comorbidities (other health issues caused by obesity) were factors as well. I was set that the VSG (Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy) was the option for me, but found out my insurance didn’t cover it. To make a long story shorter, we eventually ended up getting the money from my husbands retirement account, and all of my testing was done, and I was approved. I started my pre-op diet, and on January 6th, I went in to surgery, and came out a new person.

Now, 11 Weeks since surgery I am amazed at how my life has changed in such a short time. I have a new sense of self that I didn’t have before. I can get dressed in the first outfit I pick out in the morning. I can look in the mirror and actually SEE me. I feel lighter, I feel more confident. I find myself WANTING to go out and spend time with friends. I am not embarrassed at how much I eat, or what I eat anymore. I am not self-conscious standing in front of my husband. I can pick up my kid and play with him outside without getting out of breath. I can walk into the gym with my head held high because I no longer feel like an outcast that doesn’t belong. I can take a picture, and actually be pleased with the first shot, instead of taking 50 just to pick out one good one. I can relax knowing that I can now focus on whatever I want in life instead of obsessing about food. I can go shopping and buy regular sized clothes, and not be limited to the “womens sizes”. I can smile confidently at strangers, instead of keeping my gaze low because I want to disappear. I am almost to the point where I can get rid of my CPAP machine and mask. I have survived some tough moments in my life, and this surgery was one of them. Having said that, this was one struggle that was worth the fight because if my life has changed for the better in just 11 weeks, then I can’t wait to see what my future holds. Sorry for the long long post, but I just needed to get all that out. I feel so insightful tonight, and so inspired to keep on this road to success.

DOWN 45 POUNDS NOW!

Weeks 9-10

Posted on March 18, 2011 by TheAllNewMe

I’ve been so crappy at updating this blog! I guess it’s because now this is just life as I know it instead of something brand new. It’s wonderful to be this far out post op now. I weighed in this morning at 159.8, which means my total weight loss is now 41.7 pounds! I couldn’t have DREAMED to be in the 150’s at 10 weeks out! It’s an amazing, life changing feeling! I now actually like working out at the gym, I feel so confident in my appearance, and I find myself actually wanting to go out with friends and party and do all the stuff I never felt comfortable doing before! This sleeve has truly changed my life for the better in so many ways!!

We’ve been going out to dinner quite a bit lately, and I am LOVING that I can order regular food off the menu now. Plus, if I order an entree, I can make 4-5 meals out of it! I usually go for some kind of grilled chicken and veggies. (Sidenote: Alice Springs Chicken at Outback Steakhouse is to DIE for! And it may be high in calories, but not when you are eating a 1/5) of the entire portion per meal) I find myself CRAVING meat like never before. I was always such a carbaholic, but now, I couldn’t care less about them. Forget the sides, I’m all about the meat main course now. I always wished that I could look at a meal that way, but now it is my reality, and I’m thrilled! As far as clothes, I’m still wearing a 14, but could probably do a 12 and maybe some 10’s, depending on the brand, I’m just trying to make these last as long as possible! I feel great, in fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this great, even when I was skinny before because I don’t know that I appreciated it enough then. I’m nowhere near bikini ready, but I don’t even care about that. I’m totally not focused on where I’m not yet, I’m reveling in the feeling of where I am now! Life is wonderful when you are able to drop the nonstop self consciousness, and just be in the moment. I am SO thrilled with my results!